01.07.2005 REFERRAL!!! 03.03.2005 Travel Plans! 03.11.2005 Arrived in Beijing 3.12.2005 More on Trip 3.12.2005 Touring Beijing 3.13.2005 Second Day Beijing 3.14.2005 We Have Maya! 3.15.2005 It's Official! 3.16.2005 Shop 'Til You Drop! 3,17.2005 AM Museum 3,17,2005 PM Mother's Love 3.18.2005 Nanning Zoo 3.19.2005 Green Mountain Park 3.20.2005 Paperwork, Park, & P 3.21.2005 Guangzhou 3.22.2005 Shop 'Til You Drop! 3.23.2005 Last Day in China! 3.23/24.2005 The Journey Home 3.24.05 DFW Homecoming Post or view Messages

(This statue sits in the center courtyard of Mother's Love Orphanage.) What an awesome experience! We visited Mother's Love Orphanage, and learned why it has it's well-deserved reputation for being one of the best orphanages in China. Of course, it is still an orphanage, which isn't necessarily a good place, but it would definitely shatter your preconceived notions of what a Chinese orphanage looked like. First of all, it was very clean. Second, there were LOTS of nannies taking care of the babies in the baby room. Before going up to the baby room, we were told there were three rules we had to follow. First, no photography. Second, we had to take our shoes off before going into the baby room. Third, we were not to pick up any of the babies. That last one proved to be the hardest, since the babies were adorable! These babies were about 4 months old, still in the orphanage before going into foster care at around 6 months old. Mother's Love has about 100 children in foster care, the oldest of whom is 18 and attending high school. The children in the orphanage are either those recently checked in, or those with special needs who will likely spend thier lives at Mother's Love. There are two baby rooms upstairs, each filled with cribs -- perhaps 15 in the smaller room and 25 in the larger room. The cribs were all empty -- all the babies were up, either lying on the floor underneath baby jungle-gyms, or being fed, or in bouncing chairs. Actually, there was one baby still in a crib -- one nanny had a baby on her lap, feeding her; and with one foot she was jiggling a bouncing chair; and with the other foot she was rocking the crib back and forth! How's that for efficiency! The nannies obviously remembered the babies; as they caught sight of Maya, they called out her Chiense name, "Bing Li!" They were so excited to see the babies! One of the babies in our group was obviously a favorite of the nannies -- they swarmed her with excited cries, and carried her and her family off to another room to see other nannies who were ecited also to see her. Also upstairs was a room for special needs kids. These kids were probably aged 4-7, and seemed to have profound special needs. Several I suspect had fairly severe cases of cerebral palsy. But they were obviously not simply warehoused -- the room was set up for physical therapy, and the nannies were working with them. Downstairs, we saw a classroom for special needs kids, with perhaps 6-8 students who seemed to be first grade aged. There were a few older kids who walked by our group several times -- including a cute boy with hearing aids in both ears as well as other issues, but he kept cruising by to hear us say hello and smile at him. Downstairs there was a baby playroom for slightly older babies. We were proudly shown a set of triplets -- yes, triplets! -- who were 9 months old. They have already found a forever family, which disappointed some in our group who were willing to smuggle them out there and then! They were the chubbiest babies I have ever seen -- I'd say that each of the 9-month-olds outweighed Zoe, who comes in at 30 pounds. Pretty incredible! I was concerned about how Zoe would feel about seeing an orphanage, but she seemed fine with it. She was very excited to see all the babies. I asked her what she thought, and she said she thought it was a good place for babies until they could find their forever families. After touring Mother's Love, we listened to the director, Ms. Liu, tell us the history of Mother''''s Love. Here she is with our guide, Veronica, who served as translator (Veronica has long hair): She told us how foster parents are chosen and trained. She said that they only accept retired women who can give full attention to the babies -- so no mah jongg players (really!) or pet owners! They must have a suitable home that is clean and has good air circulation. They must agree to bring the babies to Mother's Love each month for medical checks, and to be visited twice each month by Mother's Love staff. They must also agree not to give the babies any medicines or take them to a hospital -- they must take them to Mother's Love if they are sick (Mother's Love has a medical clinic). If they agree to all of these conditions, then they come to Mother's Love for training. Then, they must pass a test. If they pass, then children are placed with them. They are instructed that the children must call them "Aunty" and not MaMa or BaBa (didn't work for Maya, who obviously called her foster parents MaMa and BaBa -- but probably that was unavoidable given that the foster parents have a child who lives with them). They are told how to help transition the babies when their adoption placement comes up. All in all, it seems a well-run program. And, judging from the demeanor of Ms. Liu, I suspect she runs it all with military precision! Ms. Liu then answered some questions, including questions about individual children. She seemed to know the history of all of them! I asked whether the file from Guiping SWI came with Maya to Mother's Love, whether there was a note from her birthparents, whether they had a birth-weight for her, etc. And she said, no, that information remained at Guiping. So now I have even more motivation to return to Guiping SWI, though it does not seem possible this trip. It was then time to meet the foster families. Each family who wanted to meet with the foster parents (not all did) was taken individually into an office to wait. The foster families were in the next room, and the women were standing on tiptoes to look out the skinny window at the top of the door. As we walked in, I could hear someone call out, "Bing Li! Bing Li!" Then the door opened and her foster mom and foster sister came out. Maya went to her foster mom willingly enough, and called her mama. The foster mom and sister were so obviously delighted to see her. We did not have much time, so I was not able to ask many questions -- and it was so emotional, that my mind was blank, anyway! Now I can think of a million things to ask: When did she first walk? what was her first word? does she have a sweet tooth? what comforts her? is she always the happy baby we've seen the last two days? Ah, well, perhaps we will keep in touch in the future and I can ask all of these questions and more. I showed the foster mom and daughter the scrapbook I made showing them Maya''''s new home, new room, new family, etc. I had my address in there 3 obvious times and 2 hidden times -- Mother's Love frowns on direct contact between parents and foster parents, but I'm hoping at least one of my address labels will make it through any screening they might do! I also gave her the special gift I had picked out for her -- a heart pendant from James Avery Craftsman. When I was looking for something special for Maya's foster mom, this one shouted out to me -- the design is called "Mother's Love!" As I said, Maya went willingly to her foster mom, but she kept pointing to me as she was held. Her foster mom responded by telling her I was her mama, and Maya came back quite willingly to me. It was such a moving experience, but I was actually too excited to meet the family to cry, and Maya didn't cry at all. In fact, the only one who cried was Mimi! Remember seeing the beautiful jacket Maya was wearing on Gotcha Day? The foster mom sewed it for her! And she had sent a bag of gifts, one of which I thought was kind of strange -- an embroidered eyeglass case. She made that after seeing the pictures I sent of our family, and seeing that Mimi wore glasses. It was a gift for Mimi! Isn't that sweet? I think the visit was really good for Maya. After we left Mother's Love, she fell asleep in the baby carrier, and slept for about 2 hours on top of me -- through the bus ride, through the elevator ride, into our room. When she woke up, she snuggled willingly in the baby carrier for another half-hour. She ate a HUGE dinner, and then it was time to get ready for bed. That's when she turned into a happy girl, babbling incessantly, singing and talking! It didn't seem that we were destined to go to sleep for a while, so I plopped her on my bed with Zoe and told Zoe to play dolls with her. Before long, Maya was mimicking everything Zoe did and said. And Zoe taught Maya to say, "Zoe!" She'll now say "Mimi" and "Mommy" (I'm using Mommy for now to differentiate me from foster MaMa). She can't manage "grandpa" yet, though she will say "Pa." (You might have to settle for that one for a while, Grandpa!). She also won't say "Maya," but has given herself what is likely to be a life-long nickname -- "YaYa." We then tried the bedtime routine again, and again, she wanted to sing and babble. This time she kept saying "Zo-EEE!" I finally put her in her crib awake -- something she hasn't allowed up until now. She's been asleep, or will wake up and cry when I put her down. This time, she sang and babbled happily, saying "Zo-EEE" over and over! It seems that seeing her foster sister may have also allowed her to shift that attachment to Zoe! We'll see tomorrow . . . . Remember the referral picture of Maya in the pink dress, sitting on the rattan chair? Well, we saw the same chair at Mother's Love (that's obviously where the picture was taken, since you can actually see the statue in the courtyard behind the glass front when the chair sat on the porch.) So here's Maya, some ten months older, in the same chair! Is it my imagination, or does she look less scared? more sure of herself? almost happy? I know I'm happy. I couldn't have imagined a better, smoother transition for Maya. I have always said that Zoe adjusted to all the changes in her life better than I did! Seems like the same is true with Maya! This page accessed 945 times